Over recent years the advice columns became a very popular place to seek the solution to different problems. The problem of family is among them. Despite the category contains many sorts of possible problems the problem of infidelity is one of the most topical.
Researching in the advice columns one is sure to find many letters that address that topic. Mainly there are of two types. The first type of letters is written by one of the partners who was deceived or suspects the other partner being unfair. Those writers often ask what to do with the partner who had some relationships outside the partnership. The question of possible ways to find out about possible infidelity is also common. The third category of questions in this field is how to affair proof the relationships.
This category of people get advise that mostly suggests being direct and honest with the partner if he or she seems to be involved in other relationships. In case the infidelity is obvious the advisers mostly suggest not tolerating that and just moving on. The affair proof suggestions normally outline the basic problems that lead to affairs and the ways to avoid them. They also suggest the set of exercises for the partners to determine what is affair for them. That method allows to establish the relations of trust between the partners and find out what do the consider as an affair.
The other group of writers is those who have a friend they know is involved in the affair. The main concern of those people is whether they should or should not interfere in the life of the couple and try to inform the other partner about the affair. Those people are also concerned about what they should do once they did it.
The peaces of advice those people get mainly depend on the situation. If the moral image of the friend is not good and his or her actions are highly unmoral the adviser mostly suggests interfering in the relationships and “dumping” the person as a friend. If everything is not that bad probably the best thing to do is to stay out and not to interfere in the relationships of the couple, since otherwise the person that wanted to help can be blamed for all the troubles.
The other peaces of advice that can help people in this sort of situation are first of all to spend some time learning a bit more about the relationships. Simple book or and article on the subject can help to prevent many of a problem people face in their love affairs. It can be also useful for both partners to attend psychotherapist or go through other forms of the psychological analysis that will help them to overcome the problems within their own personalities that affect relationships and lead to infidelity.
It is interesting to determine the reasons why people use advice columns and why they find the advices there very helpful. One can determine several points here.
First of all, it is one of the most logical solutions when the person doesn’t know where to turn to. When an individual can’t find a solution by himself he turns to the others, however, in may happen that the individual has actually no one to turn to, as the result he uses the outside source such as internet.
Second, the individual has a trust in the adviser. The adviser is believed to be an experienced and competent person who helped a lot of people and finds right answers for the difficult questions.
Third, the inquire feels free and confident and can share even the most intimate information since he knows that he remains anonymous and he also doesn’t know the person he is telling everything. That moment of freedom is very important for psychological freedom of the individual.
Finally, they get the response fast enough that allows them to apply the advice to their own lives almost immediately. The period of time is relatively small comparing to the period of time the problem normally lasts.
In general advice columns can be rather useful in solving the problems and informative in preventing them. They certainly play a major role in everyday life of many people that find helpful advices that make their life easier.